Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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