have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
