Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
