the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
