so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
