He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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