So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
