did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
