I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
