I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
