I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
My vagina is officially offended.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
