I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
