Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
