You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
