Whoa Z and x make the same sound
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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