I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
