How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
