if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
