you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I will be naked everywhere
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Randomize
