I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
