I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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