Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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