he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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