The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
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