I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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