i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
