found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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