Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
