8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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