Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
