I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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