3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
