im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
