How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
