There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
