I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
