I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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