Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Randomize
