Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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