Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Randomize
