I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
