Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
