what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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