I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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