Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
