He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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