2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
It's Friday. Sex?
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
