just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
