We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
