dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
