remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
