So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Randomize
